


Quid Pro Quo

by lilleiaorgana



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, 新世紀エヴァンゲリオン鋼鉄のガールフレンド | Neon Genesis Evangelion: Girlfriend of Steel
Genre: Daddy Issues, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fake Pregnancy, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Girlfriend of Steel references, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:55:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25997089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilleiaorgana/pseuds/lilleiaorgana
Summary: After Shinji is injured fighting an angel, Asuka sees an opportunity to make Kaji jealous. However, once Shinji agrees to pretend to be Asuka's boyfriend, he discovers he has feelings for the new transfer student which threatens to thwart Asuka's plan.
Relationships: Ayanami Rei/Ikari Shinji, Ayanami Rei/Souryuu Asuka Langley, Ikari Shinji/Kirishima Mana, Ikari Shinji/Souryuu Asuka Langley, Kaji Ryouji/Katsuragi Misato
Comments: 10
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

"He's so stupid." Asuka bites into a dumpling and chews loudly, which disturbs Rei and Misato as they quietly eat. 

Misato has bags under her eyes and her face is pink and puffy from crying so much, Rei had watched her cry. Rei thought that Misato was a mess, a grown woman who could not control her emotions at work. There was something admirable about Misato though, how human she was. How real she was. She'd even hiccuped and wiped snot from her nose across her face and onto her sleeve. Not many people at Nerv were like Misato, so Rei always had her under a microscope. 

"He was only doing his job." Rei spoke calmly. She was very upset about Shinji, of course. Gendo had been disappointed in Shinji's act, though it saved hundreds and defeated the angel. Because Gendo was disappointed, Rei felt the urge to feel similarly, though her worry stuck in her gut and made it hard to eat. 

"You're such a honor student! You can't even show emotion right now! He almost died, you saw it happen!" Asuka yells and the whole dining hall goes silent as Misato slams the flat of her palm on the metal table. 

Asuka gasps, looking at her with the first look of fear she's ever had for her legal guardian. 

"That enough, Asuka!" Misato's voice cracks as she yells. The second time around, her voice is tender, emotional. "I said that's enough."

Misato sees the look on Asuka's face and recognizes it well. It's the look a young girl has on her face when she knows she's going to get a beating. Misato touches Asuka's shoulder and closes her eyes, tears falling thick and hot. 

"I'm sorry... I'm... I'm just so scared." Misato weeps. 

Rei hyperfocuses on Misato's shaky hand on Asuka's shoulder. Her long, pale fingers with her long acrylic nails painted a deep, dark purple still from the "spa day" that Fuyutsuki demanded Misato went on after having to physically pull a half naked and violent Asuka off of a plugsuited Shinji after he said that Asuka was a slob followed by Misato losing her cool at work and going on a screaming rant about "horny teenagers" that were "making her hair gray". Rei thought about that one for days. When Misato came back, Asuka and Shinji had baked cakes and cleaned the condo nicely together. They'd even gone grocery shopping for her, stocking her beer fridge which made Misato nervous as to how they were able to obtain the beer, but Asuka told her not to worry about it, but Shinji's blush told Misato everything she needed to know. That all seemed like it was so long ago for Asuka, who could still feel Shinji's hand warm against hers as he showed her a better way to mix cake batter by hand and the heat on his cheeks when she kissed him.

How she couldn't sleep for two days because he'd pushed her away. 

Asuka wrinkled her nose and looked at Misato. How dare she be so bold in public with her emotions! How dare she make Asuka feel like she wanted to cry! How dare she! How dare she show her affection when they both so desperately need it! How dare she! She stood up, taking her bowl with her and lifting her chin.

"I'm checking on him. Stop your blubbering, both of you! He's fine!" Asuka scoffed as she moved out of the dining hall, taking her soup into the hospital wing where Shinji laid in a LCL infused medical daze, mumbling here and there unintelligibly. 

When Asuka got inside, she found Commander Ikari standing over the edge of the bed. She gasped, eyes wide as Commander Ikari turned his head to look at Asuka. 

"Yes?" Commander Ikari raised a brow at her. 

Without his glasses on, he looked exactly like Shinji... almost. He had facial hair and lines that made him seem older than he really was, but he had the same structure without Shinji's softness. 

"Is... Is he okay?" Asuka asked, quiet and shy. 

Commander Ikari looked down at his son once more before looking back at Asuka. "He's fine."

Asuka looked At Shinji's face, how soft and smooth it looked. Shinji took good care of himself because Asuka made him. Shinji looked so peaceful, like he was finally getting the relaxation he'd needed for months now. 

"Were you planning on staying in here?" Gendo asks, borderline impolitely. 

Asuka's face goes pale. He is so big and he's so scary. He's the opposite of Shinji. "Uh, yes."

"You cause him much grief, do you know that?" Gendo keeps his voice brassy, cold. 

Asuka looks at Shinji, begging him to wake up and defend her. Begging for Shinji to say 'She's my friend! I don't mind! Don't be mean to her!', she prays even that he'll feel she needs him through some astral connection that she needs him and that he'll sit up, distracting Gendo from this point of conversation. 

"I asked you a question." He steels himself. 

Asuka looks up at him, suddenly brave. "Bold of you to suddenly want to be the protective patriarch of your feeble little son."

Gendo's eyes go wide for a moment, shocked that she timid girl had grown into the beast he'd seen from afar often. No wonder Shinji was such a coward, between Langley and Katsuragi, he was thoroughly emasculated. 

"No, Miss Langley. The boldness in the room lies in your tone with me, your Commander." He looks down at her, narrowed eyes and clench fists. "It would be wise of you to not speak to me in such a manner. You are easily replaced, despite what you think. Shinji, my son, is not as easily replaced here at Nerv."

She frowns deeply, not liking that one bit. "That's nepotism."

"That's the law of the evangelion. It has chosen him. Your connection with your evangelion is weak. It's pitifully weak. The two of you are opposites, one weak in conversation, the other weak in battle. Rei is the only pilot worthy of respect because she understands her life is the evangelion and knows her purpose in this world. I highly reccommend you find that within yourself and that when my son wakes up, you could inspire him to do the same." He crouches down and places his glasses on his crooked nose before walking out the door. 

Asuka clenches her fists, wanting to scream in his face just to be the one that's the loudest and angriest. Instead, she sits on the bed, mindful of Shinji's legs and eats her dumplings angrily as Ikari watches her. From a distance, it almost looks as if she cares about him. When he leaves, she sets the dumplings on the bedside table, closes the door and lays on the bed with him, watching his chest rise and fall as if she's making him breath herself. 

* * *

"Well, at least she's over me." Kaji eats one of the dumplings and smirks at Ritsuko, who appears uncomfortable with Asuka's face in Shinji's neck, both sleeping peacefully. 

"Do not tell Major Katsuragi about this." Maya spoke softly. In a way, she thought this was cute. Everyone knew Asuka and Shinji liked each other and Maya remembers what it was like to be a teenage girl, sometimes she felt like the only one who ever did other than Misato. But even Misato had her moments where she forgot. Maya knew that if Misato knew Asuka had climbed into Shinji's sickbed and held him like this, she would for sure separate them or embarrass them. 

Kaji chuckled, which woke Asuka up. She gasped, eyes noticing the three adults in the room. "What are you all doing?"

Ritsuko blushed and cleared her throat, "We were checking on Shinji and looking for you. Misato got worried about you, she said you flew off in a fit."

Kaji snorted and poked Asuka's leg. "If we'd known you were cuddling your boyfriend, I promise we would not have come in."

Asuka growled and kicked at him lightly, never wanting to hurt him. "He's- he's- "

But Asuka misinterpreted Kaji's tone, in her head he sounded jealous. Kaji jealous over Shinji... for her affections. How even now he was sitting close to her and eating her left over dumplings. He was so jealous, Asuka thought. 

She rolled her eyes, "Yes. I would appreciate if you three gave us some space..."

Maya blushed hard, "Asuka... since whe-"

"Since last weekend! It's been a secret! Don't tell Misato." She turned her head away from Maya, who was an ally to her. Maya always had extra tampons and hair ties, Asuka always needed tampons and hair ties. 

Maya nodded, but Ritsuko narrowed her eyes. "Okay, Asuka. Very funny. Get off Shinji and let him rest. I promise you, he'd not react well to you being on top of him like this."

Kaji shrugged at Asuka, tilting his head to nonverbally agree with Ritsuko. Asuka took that as more jealousy, like he really wanted Asuka off of Shinji. 

Asuka sighed heavily, looking at Kaji as she tenderly and wetly planed a kiss on Shinji's forehead. "Fine. As you wish, Akagi."

Asuka slid off the bed and picked up one of the dumplings, eating it in front of Kaji. 

Kaji chuckled and stood up, looking down at Asuka. "Alright, then. Let's get you back to Misato. You wanna come with Maya?"

Maya smiled and followed as Kaji steered Asuka out of the room, not noticing the glee radiating off of Asuka as Kaji touched her shoulders and pushed her out of the room. 

Once the coast was clear, Ritsuko sighed and looked at Shinji. "I know you're awake, Ikari."

Shinji gasped and turned red, his eyes still closed. 

"Shinji..." Ristuko crossed her arms over her chest. "How long have you been awake?"

Slowly, he opened his eyes and sat up a bit. "Maybe... an hour or two. I... I didn't want to move Asuka. I didn't want her to know I was awake."

Ritsuko snorted, "Oh? Why's that?"

Shinji managed to go for a beet red look, "Uh... Uh... I didn't want to... bother her."

"Do you and Asuka often... cuddle?" She asked, clicking a pen and writing.

Shinji gasped as he sat up more, the pain in his neck and back screaming into his body. "Aah! No! No, never!"

Ritsuko pressed a button, sending more medication to his system. "Right. Are you... sexually active?"

Shinji breathed out hard, "No... god. No. We've only kissed twice and both times, it was bad! I mean, it wasn't good! I mean, she kissed me and I didn't kiss her back and then she kissed me and I pushed her away!"

"Ah, hedgehog's dilemma indeed." She nodded, "You never cease to surprise me." 

Both Ritsuko and Shinji jump as Misato comes barreling in, flopping on Shinji with a tight hug. "You're awake! You-"

"He's recovering from surgery!" Ritz scolded uselessly, apparently. 

"Sorry, Shinji!" Misato beams, "I'm just so relieved you're okay."

Shinji grins, patting her. "I'm okay, Misato! Promise. Just need some rest."

"I heard Asuka was in here..." Misato flipped the switch, more adult. More parental. 

Ritz sighs and steps out of the room, uninterested in seeing the awkwardness and stupid attempt to parent. Misato sits up and looks at him with narrowed eyes, which makes it hard for Shinji to concentrate because he's so nervous. 

"Since when have you and Asuka been dating? She told us all after Kaji and Ritz found her snuggling you back to life." She raised a brow, angry that he hadn't told her. The audacity of that boy sometimes. How dare she be the last one to find out her two wards were in love!

"Wh- what?" His eyes went wide. 

Just then, Asuka came running in and landing on him the way Misato had earlier. "Shinji!"

Shinji made several choked sounds, surprised and uncomfortable. "What..."

"You could've told me!" Misato screamed. 

Before Shinji can talk, Asuka is too busy peppering his head with kisses. "We were afraid no one would approve! Commander Ikari would never, and everyone thinks we hate each other. It was just that... it was easier to put up the act, so we could stay together." 

Misato sighs, looking at them with soft eyes while Shinji sits there in absolute confusion. "We'll talk about it later, okay?"

As soon as she's gone, Asuka pulls away from Shinji and rolls her eyes. "Okay, here's the deal. Act like we're together and in love and I buy you a new SDAT. Got it?"

Shinji blinks, thinking about his broken player. "Oh... Asuka, I can buy-"

"Listen, I'm on a mission here. Either you help me or not!" Asuka stood with her hands on her hips. 

"Oh... okay, fine. What do I have to do?" He tilted his head in confusion. 

Asuka groans, "Pretend to be my boyfriend, idiot! Kiss me! Hold my hand! Buy me things! Make me lunch! carry my bags!"

"I do half of that now..." He frowns.

"But now, it has a purpose!" She gestures wildly with her hands. "Come on, every girl at school will want you now. It's science, all girls like a boy more once they see that he's interesting to other girls!"

Shinji shifts, he doesn't care much about that. The thought of kissing her and pretending to be her boyfriend makes him feel strange. But he does want a new SDAT and she's the one who broke it... "Fine. I'll pretend. How long?"

Asuka grins proudly and sits on the bed, "However long it takes for the coward to admit he loves me!"


	2. Chapter 2

The morning is quiet, everyone's busy with paperwork after the Shinji accident. Surviellance of the angel tossing his EVA across the Geo-Front repeats over and over again on multiple TVS for Misato's eyes to watch like she's reliving the first time. Like she's watching him helplessly, calling out his name like she can help him while his father sits there with a placid look on his face. Never an ounce of fear for his own son, but a slight look of fear when Rei almost finds herself in the same position.

It's too much for Misato to watch. She finds herself in Ritsuko's personal office, drinking a cup of burnt coffee with too much flavored creamer. Ritsuko's too busy with her own typing to talk to Misato, but it isn't like Misato wants to talk yet anyway. They've known each other for so long that they can pick up on that sort of thing, they know each of their little moods like they shared a brain. It was the closest two friends could be without fucking or giving their souls up for 'the greater good of humanity', as Ritsuko often thought about. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad, she'd think, finally being able to tell Misato everything and for Misato to know everything about her without compromising their dignity and respect for each other. 

Eventually, Misato grabs Ritsuko's lighter and a cigarette, inhaling deeply and choking out the smoke. "Ew, these are terrible. What are they?"

"Cowboy killers." Ritsuko answers with the hint of a smile on her slightly over lined lips. It had been a busy morning, she was running late. 

Misato puts the cigarette out and wrinkles her nose. "My condolences to the cowboys." 

Ritsuko laughs at that, turning her head to look up at Misato. She can tell she's stressed still, but it's different. "Penny for your thoughts, Major?"

"It's the god damn kids." Misato says instantly. "Apparently, they've been dating for a while and refused to tell me. I gotta hand it to them, they're smart kids. I would've separated them for sure... I just, you know... kids these days are a lot different than how we were." 

"We were their age during one of the times the world ended, of course they're different. Are you afraid they'll try to have sex?" Ritz raised an eyebrow. 

Misato groans and looks at her pitifully. "Yes. I heard a story on the news last night that more and more kids ages fourteen to sixteen are engaging in intercourse..."

"Engaging in intercourse. Misato. You're far too young and far too immature to seriously say those words." Ritsuko chuckles, sipping her lukewarm coffee. 

Misato rolls her eyes and paces the small, unkempt office. "These kids are hooking up because the world could end at any time! These aren't just some bunker kids either, they're out there trying to prevent it all! They have more reason to sleep with each other because they could get killed by an angel!"

"So, you're saying it's okay?" Ritsuko smirks. 

Misato groans loudly and leans against the wall, closing her eyes. "I'd be so fired. Commander Ikari would have me killed. Asuka would be sent to Germany, they'd likely give her an abortion. Shinji would hate me forever."

"She's 14, of course they'd terminate the pregnancy and send her home. They'd probably do everything in their power to get another boy from the institute too. Rei and Shinji aren't exactly replaceable, no offense to Asuka." Ritsuko shrugged, typing. 

Misato's eyes went wide, looking at her like she was the coldest woman on the planet, but she let it slide. Bigger fish to fry. "I just don't get it. They act like they hate each other. Everyone knows it. Everyone here and at their school."

"Listen, they're obviously -" Ritsuko begins, but is interrupted.

There's a knock at the door that makes both of them jump. In their heads, for two different reasons, they think it could be Commander Ikari. When a scruffy chined, long haired, sleep eyed asshole comes in, they know they're safe from humiliation. 

"Are we gossiping about the lovebirds without me?" Kaji smirks, setting down a box of donuts. 

Misato turns her nose up at the box, even if it's from her favorite shop. Ritz is just to relieved it's not Ikari that she eats a bright pink and sparkly one. It's pretty. It almost reminds her of Maya, for some reason... and for some reason that makes her feel warm, the kind of warmth she can't find in bed with Gendo no matter how hard she tries.

Kaji leans on the wall close to Misato, close enough to where she can smell his musky cologne and the hand soap from his apartment. She thinks about how she would be able to smell the 'coconut breeze' on his fingers as she sucked on them, how he'd tell her she was a good girl for doing so. She groans and pushes away from him, moving to sit on a crowded desk with papers, a donut in her mouth. Kaji grins, knowing he still has some effect on her like he used to. 

"Misato was just talking about Asuka and Shinji." Ritsuko broke the tension, rolling her eyes. "Kaji tell her that she-"

"I think they're cute and you should leave them alone. It's good for Asuka to finally like a boy her own age. Besides, now I don't have to worry about her poisoning any of my girls." Kaji grins.

Misato's eyes grow wide then narrow before she stomps out of the room. Ritsuko sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of her nose. "Not what I was going to say, Kaji."

* * *

For the past week, Kensuke and Toji have been making serious bank off selling pictures of Asuka wheeling Shinji around and them just sitting together. Girls look at Shinji differently, asking if he needs anything after a rumor that he stepped in front of the angel to protect Asuka spreads around. It takes everything inside her not to track whoever started it down and strangle them. It was so not the case, luckily Rei surprisingly speaks out to deny that rumor. Everyone notices a change in Ayanami, she speaks more since Asuka and Shinji are so popular with the everyone in the class. She never seems sad anymore, just angsty. A rumor starts that she finally got her period, Hikari slips her a pad during lunch one day with a sticky note that says 'Welcome to the club, moon sister! If you need anything, I've always got extras!'. Rei knows she means well, so to avoid embarrassing the class rep, she just puts the pad on anyway. 

"I don't even get periods." She whispers to herself as she stares in the mirror. 

Shinji is too busy to even look at her, but Rei watches as he soaks in all of the positive attention. He was never like this before. He's milking it. They're not even dating, she knows they'd never genuinely date. She knows everything about the two of them, she would've known if they were dating for as long as they claimed. 

Because Shinji's arms are so weak, can't wheel himself around fast enough for Asuka's liking. This means she wheels him around everywhere at the speed of light sometimes, but during lunch she sits on his lap and giggles like they actually like each other. It's a meticulously plotted act, Rei notes. But why? In reality, it's painful for Asuka to pretend to be so sugary sweet to Shinji. 

"It's not fair that I have to be angelic while you still get to be stupid!" She pouts as she strolls him around the convenience store.

"Ow! Asuka! Be careful where you wheel me!" Shinji whines, holding his injured leg. 

The angel throwing Shinji like a football manages to break EVA- 01's left leg and fractured its spine, which broke Shinji's left leg but his spine was in much better condition. He just had to wear a neck brace for a few weeks and was constantly loaded on painkillers because Misato trusted him and Asuka doled them out for him. Technically, he was taking a half too many but it made him whine a lot less. Right now, he needed another dose. 

The next day at school, everyone stares at Shinji and Asuka, not speaking to them. They all whisper and roll their eyes when Asuka sits on Shinji's lap.

"I guess the glory days are over..." Shinji whispers to Asuka. 

"Unbelievable. What's their damage?" She whispers, which is more of her just talking softly. 

Toji barrels over, grabbing Shinji's shoulders and leaning down to whisper to them. "Suki in row 3 says that you guys are faking it because no one's seen you kiss."

Asuka and Shinji turn red and glare at each other. It's been a problem they've both hard, the commitment to physical intimacy. Kissing isn't their strong suit at all whatsoever. Asuka shoves Toji's face away and looks at Shinji. 

"Then we'll kiss." She huffs. 

Shinji gulps and his eyes go wide. "A-a-Asuka... we really... we can make somethi-"

Just as he fumbles for the words, Asuka leans in and gives him a real kiss. It's all she expects. No tongue, no moving of the lips, just a simple closed mouthed kiss. But Shinji opens his mouth, kissing her deeper and adding tongue which makes Asuka jump a little in his lap. Shinji gets nervous and grabs her hips. They hesitantly kiss like that until it becomes normal, even good. When Shinji pulls back, Asuka gasps and feels a new pang of emptiness in her heart that might've been there since the moment she met him. Suddenly, she can hear everyone whooping and the shutter of everyone's cameras. 

Shinji's cheeks are bright pink and he stares at her like she might choke him. But she smiles, which might be the first real smile he's ever gotten out of her. Did she enjoy that? No. Never. She's just getting what she wanted. This will get back to Kaji for sure. 

Hikari lets out a bellowing cry and pulls Asuka off of Shinji's lap, which makes Shinji howl in pain. "Indecent! How dare you two canoodle in the classroom! You both have to stay after and clean the boards! I expected more out of our eva pilots and my own friend! Shinji, you're a pervert!"

"What?" They both exclaim as the class laughs. 

"She started it!" Shinji cries, "After school?" Asuka cries.

As the teacher walks in, they all quiet down and momentarily forget the excitement that's happened. Asuka looks at Shinji, who writes the notes on the board down and turns his entire torso to look at her because of his neck, smiling nervously at her. She furrows her brow and gestures for him to move her head, writing the notes down but unable to stop thinking about kissing him and his hands on her waist. 

* * *

When Asuka and Shinji return from cleaning after school, Misato has carry-out ready for them, which they excitedly eat. Misato sighs and lets them eat, drinking a few cans of cola to ease the nerves built up in her body. Shinji watches the cans pile up on the table, blinking at them curiously. They're not her usual beer cans that he's so familiar with. He knows the look of the cans by heart now after spending months putting them in the recycling for her at the end of the night and sometimes even early morning. In his head he considers that she's turning a new leaf. 

"Why aren't you drinking?" Asuka asks unceremoniously. "Did you stop drinking beer because beer makes people fat?"

Misato's face drains, "Wait, am I getting fat?"

"No." Asuka answers quickly. "I mean, I haven't really paid attention. You could be fat. Do you want me to tell you if you are?"

"NO!" Misato exclaimed, standing up. "Okay, everyone listen up."

"We are listening." Asuka rolls her eyes. 

Shinji shrinks a bit in his seat, looking at Misato respectfully but feeling a pit of worry in his full belly as she runs out of the room to grab a bag from a convenience store. Misato sets the bag out, looking at both Asuka and Shinji before she begins her speech. 

"I'm not going to bother you about the relationship anymore. I just want you two to know that... I'm happy for you both. It's been really nice seeing you two get along and although I'm sad you two hid this from me and pretended to hate each other for so long-"

Shinji looks at Asuka, who is trying her best not to laugh out loud.

"I want you to know that as your guardian, you have my consent to be together. I just... ugh, please be safe?" Misato pulls out a comically large box of colorful and hauntingly flavorful condoms from the bag which sends both Shinji and Asuka spiraling. 

"Ew!" Shinji and Asuka cry out. 

"Don't even pretend! I know you guys are about two weeks away from being naked around each other and you... Asuka, we can't lose you. You're our pilot and a damned good one. I can't bare the image of sending you home to Germany because you're pregnant."

Asuka's eyes go wide and she pretends to gag. "Ugh, I'd never! I'm not stupid enough to get myself knocked up, especially from the seed of this absolute idiot over here! I mean, look at him! Do you think he could watch me endure hours of labor? No way, he'd pass out and then everyone would boo-hoo over him. Besides, I'm never risking my perfect body for some stupid baby!"

Shinji can't read Misato's face, but he knows she wants to run into the other room and hide. Suddenly, Misato gets very upset. 

"Listen here, you brat! You're not as smart as you think you are! I'm just looking out for you. You make accidents happen all the time and a baby isn't so easily dealt with. You should be kissing my feet and blessing my name for even offering you the option of safe sex! Most guardians would forbid it. Most guardians would have you separated but because I like you two so much, I've decided to take the risk and let you live under the same roof. Now, if you could give me a god damn break and just say thank you, I will gladly retire to my room for the rest of the evening!"

Asuka gasps and frowns, not liking being yelled at. 

"T-thank you, Misato. I don't think we'll be needing them... but we do appreciate it. I... I promise I won't... get Asuka pregnant." He whispers. 

Misato sighs and looks at him. "You're welcome Shinji."

Misato walks out of the room and within fifteen minutes, they hear her snoring. Asuka scoffs and grabs the plates, putting them in the sink and running water over them. With Shinji in the wheelchair and unable to really move his neck, Asuka and Misato have to do most of the chores. Which is why they've been eating take out more often and the condo is a mess. It stresses Shinji out, but the painkillers help ease that stress. 

They sit silently until Asuka opens the box and pulls a few condoms out, her eyes wide. "Are you sure these wouldn't be too big for you?"

Shinji nearly turns purple and scoffs, "They're standard size! Stop being mean."

"She's not awake. I don't have to pretend. It's exhausting. I do all the work in this relationship." She opens one and hesitantly plays with it.

Shinji shifts and wrinkles his nose, wanting her to stop. "Don't waste those."

"What? Are we going to need them?" She raises a brow.

They both turn red. 

"God, you kiss me good once and now you think you can defile me!" Asuka prods on, teasing him more. 

Shinji wheels himself to the TV, mumbling, "I knew you liked it."

Asuka throws the condom at his head and groans, "You bastard! You put your tongue in my mouth!"

"You were moving all over my lap!" He accused rightfully. She had been. 

She knew. "You... you liked it too."

Shinji blinks and sighs, "Asuka, I've never been kissed like that before. You're the only one I've ever kissed. Of course I was going to like it."

Asuka looks up and rolls her eyes, "We forgot to tell Misato so now Kaji won't know unless we see him soon." 

"Right. Are you sure he'll actually be jealous?" He asks softly. 

Asuka looks down at him with anger. "Of course! As soon as he knows I'm desired, he will want me more! He won't be able to hide it. He won't want anyone to take my purity from me."

"You're a virgin?" He blurts.

It's a stupid question. A rude one. Of course she is. She's 14. But he feels like she's so much older and kisses like she's had more practice and to be honest, Shinji's not too sure as to how sex really works. He thinks she's at least been fingered. 

Asuka huffs, "No. I'm saving myself for a real man."

Shinji sighs and scratches what he can of his neck, "Okay. Whatever. But I don't think Kaji's going to be that man, Asuka. He doesn't like little girls and I don't even think he likes you that much. You kinda weird him out."

It doesn't come out mean, but it still burns Asuka like fire. She puts her hands on the handles of his chair, glaring down at him. Shinji can't help but look at her breasts because... they're right there. 

"He loves me! He's waiting for me! When I'm 18, he'll admit and we'll elope!" She whines. 

Shinji gulps and rolls back to avoid her, which only makes her body stumble on his, avoiding his leg luckily. Her shirt comes down and she freezes, unable to move. In the heat of the moment, Shinji does something stupid. He puts her boob back in her tank top. Asuka sits up on her knees, awkwardly between his legs. He sits there in the wheelchair flabbergasted, looking down at her apologetically. 

"Did you just manhandle my tit?" She deadpans. 

"I was only helping..." He whimpers. 

Asuka can't believe it, but she wants him to do it again. Frustrated, she yelps and runs into her room and flops on her bed. Shinji knows he will have to atone for this in some way in the morning. But for now, he just wants to watch TV and then sleep. 

* * *

Over pre-packages muffins, Asuka and Shinji refuse to talk about how Misato wailed all morning and gagged in the bathroom thirty minutes before they sat down. Now that she's gone, the condo feels cold and tense.

"If she's got the flu, I'm going to be so pissed off." Asuka sighs once she's got some coffee in her. 

"That's not likely. We all got the vaccine." Shinji mumbles, dipping his muffin in the coffee. 

Asuka hates everything about him in that moment. "I bet you'd like to knock her up."

"Ew, don't be gross." Shinji says with red cheeks. Misato is... no. Misato is Misato. 15 year way too old. By the time he was an adult, she'd be in her thirties and by the time he would be an older adult, like ready for kids, it's likely she wouldn't even want to anymore. But not like he's thought about it, that'd be perverted. 

"Whatever. I bet you think about knocking Ayanami up too. Did you hear she started her period? That's why she's been so bitchy lately." She sucks her coffee down and sighs. 

"You must always be on yours then..." He whispers, but likely she doesn't hear him because she goes to refill her mug. Instead he wheels over to her, holding his mug out for a refill. "Hey Asuka?"

"What?" She asks, refilling the mug and glaring at him. She knows it might be a favor and she already does enough for him. 

Shinji sighs, "I'm really sorry about your boob. I shouldn't have moved my chair out from under you like that and I shouldn't have touched you. I'll buy you whatever you want for lunch today and I even did your homework. You went to bed and I didn't want you yo scramble to do it before class or get in trouble for copying. I think I did your handwriting pretty well."

Asuka feels light. She feels like she's on the stars. He did something kind for her. He... he obviously likes her now, who wouldn't in his position. Asuka now feels like a girl in a movie. Caught between a man who secretly loves her and a boy who foolishly loves her. She can only choose one. May the best man win, she thinks. 

Asuka touches Shinji's hand lightly to ease him, "It's okay, Shinji. I know you can't help yourself." 

She turns around to get dressed, tossing her hair back. Shinji furrows her brow and looks at her strangely. She took that way differently than expected, in fact, she almost took it the wrong way in his eyes. Couldn't help himself? It was an accident! However Asuka is rarely nice, so he does his best to continue whatever he's doing. Once she's wheeled him to school, he grabs her hand and kisses it lightly. 

"Thanks." He smiles at her. "For getting me to school on time." 

Asuka looks around, everyone else is in class as they stand in the hall. Her hand shakes from the kiss. It's the most romantic thing she's ever felt. 

"Don't be obscene..." She whispers, trying to sound mean but failing.

When they get into the classroom, Hikari shuffles over and pulls Asuka over to the window by Rei, who looks less than pleased about this new development. 

"Because you two cannot keep your dirty paws off of each other, the teacher and I have devised a fool proof plan that should keep the sanity and dignity of this classroom in check. You may no longer sit next to Shinji and from no on, Kensuke will be pushing his wheelchair. Do not even think about eating lunch together! You're eating lunch with Rei from now on, she could use a buddy..." Hikari smiles at Rei, who awkwardly smiles back. 

Great, sympathy. Rei thinks. Just what she wants. Asuka around her more than she already is. 

Asuka groans and slumps down, knowing better than to bicker with Hikari. Shinji think about interjecting, but knows the wrath of the class rep is not to be messed with. If Asuka isn't, he won't. Now it won't look so weird when he steals glances at Rei from across the room. By lunch time, Asuka realizes that Shinji promised to buy her lunch and he's now far into the fields outside with the boys in the class and some of the girls. Only Rei and the weird boy that snorts when he's nervous is in the classroom. Rei stares at Asuka, wondering why she's not eating. 

"What's wrong?" Rei asks curiously, prepared for Asuka to yell at her for even bothering to speak. 

"Shinji was supposed to buy me lunch. He promised." She doesn't mean to whimper it, but whimper It she does.

Rei looks at her expressionless before standing up abruptly and looking down at her. "Do you like the prepackages bento boxes they sell?"

"I- I've never had one." Asuka admits. 

"It's good. Simple. You'll like it." She says as she walks away, heading to the school lunch counter to grab one for her and Asuka. 

When she returns, they eat together in silence. After the meal, Asuka quietly thanks Rei. Rei looks at her and then looks down, blushing. Asuka's never said that before and she's never given Asuka a reason to. They both sit there awkwardly, drinking the juice Rei picked for them. Both flavors are tart and sweet and don't quench their thirst, but it's another excuse to not have to speak to each other out of fear of ruining the peaceful half hour they've had. In a way, they're almost friends now, but neither will admit that. 

When the rest of the students pile in the classroom loudly, Hikari giggles with her arms around a strange girl's shoulders. 

"Who is that?" Rei whispers to Asuka. 

Asuka looks at her, wondering if she meant to say it to her or if she'd just said it out loud. "No clue but I guess it's why everyone's acting so stupid."

They both look at Shinji, who's cheeks are red as he looks at the new girl. Both Rei and Asuka burn inside. Suddenly, Asuka feels like she might throw up like Misato had this morning. Maybe the take out was bad, no. It's how Shinji looks at the girl. It's how everyone is excited to see her. It's how she writes her name on the board like Asuka had. It's how Shinji smiles at her once she's turned around. The eye contact they make. The way she blushes at his blue eyes making eye contact with hers.

Asuka turns into the aisle and throws up her lunch, her breakfast, and her dinner. Rei's eyes go wide and she cannot help herself but throw up as well. Everyone screams as they girls continue to barf on the floor. The teacher evacuates the students and calls for the nurse and the custodian. Shinji wants to help in whatever way he can but he's being wheeled away from them, helpless. In a way, it hurts both Asuka and Rei more than anything to not have the one person that's always there for them gone, and strange now that all they have is each other. 


	3. Chapter 3

Once Kensuke had dropped Shinji off at home, Shinji took advantage of being alone, grinning to himself about Mana. Mana Mana Mana. It was such bad timing for Mana to come to school. No one had ever instantly liked him like that before. She was so sweet, so quiet and funny. Everyone was so shocked to see him laughing with her, that he wasn't weeping over the loss of contact with Asuka at lunch. But to be honest, Shinji momentarily forgot about Asuka. His mind was on Mana. 

"Where's Asuka?" Misato asked as she listened very closely to every word Shinji said, stirring the soup carefully. 

"Oh, uh... must be with Hikari. She's been keeping us separate to preserve the dignity of the classroom." 

Misato chuckled and looked at Shinji, "I ever tell you how much I adore Hikari?"

At the tea shop, Asuka and Rei sat sipping their boba quietly. Getting on the train after school and into town was a nonverbal agreement they had made, which felt strange. Like they knew each other that well already. With both of their stomachs feeling better, they settled on boba tea, which Asuka had never had. 

"Do you come here a lot?" Asuka asks, thinking about how quickly Rei had ordered.

"Yeah, I do." Rei answers with her mouth still around her straw. 

Asuka looks down, "Shinji and Misato never want to come around here. They say it's too busy when we're all home and on the weekends."

"I like the busyness." Rei shrugged, taking a big sip and crushing the boba with her teeth. "I like being able to disappear."

Asuka wrinkled her nose at the morbidity of the statement. No wonder Rei had no friends, she was a total weirdo. "I feel more seen in public like this."

"And you enjoy that." Rei said matter of factly. 

Asuka blinks, "Well, yeah. I do. I like to be noticed."

Rei hums, sipping her boba. She knows. "Why are you pretending to date Shinji?"

Asuka nearly chokes on a boba ball and slams her hand down on the table in the busy shop. No one notices, much to Rei's satisfaction to see no one even looking at Asuka. 

"We aren't pretending."

"Then why did you throw up at the sight of him looking at another girl like that?" Rei raised a brow, her soft voice echoing in Asuka's head in a haunting but soothing way. 

Asuka didn't want to be soothed. She gripped her table and glared, "Why did you throw up too?"

Rei sighs, "I have a bad gag reflex. Ask Doctor Akagi, she knows all about it. Also, I'm super well known for throwing up when other people throw up." 

"Super well known by who?" Asuka wrinkled her nose. 

"Everyone that throws up around me." She shrugged simply. 

Asuka closes her eyes and sighs heavily, "You wouldn't understand." 

Rei knows she won't but her curiousity gets the best of her, "Tell me anyways, you need to tell someone."

After a few false starts and growls, Asuka eventually manages to tell Rei that she's doing this to make Kaji jealous but that she's found herself increasingly more into Shinj, even if he does irritating things. And it almost seems like he might like her back. Rei listens in silence, listening to the words she wishes she could live. That she could even get half as close to Shinji as Asuka has been. But she wonders if she could be kinder, if she could show SHinji the love she thinks he might desire that Asuka doesn't give him. 

"Hello? Are you even listening to me?" Asuka demands.

Rei snaps out of her trance and blushes. "Sorry. Uh..."

"Wanna see a movie?" Asuka asks, as if she didn't just pour her heart out. 

"But- wait." Rei says as Asuka get up and throws her tea away, ready to walk over to the movie theater. 

Asuka sighs heavily and looks at Rei like she's a bother. 

"I- I think you should tell Shinji how you feel. He's kind. He wouldn't be mean to you. He would be... he be an idiot to refuse you." She might be stretching the truth and forcing herself to lie, but the sudden thought of losing Asuka as a companion doesn't sit well with her. 

Asuka raises her chin and for a minute it looks like she might say something cruel, but she opens the door for Rei, who walks out quietly and gasps as Asuka loops her arm with Rei's. It's decided. They're now friends. They just won't say it out loud. 

* * *

Asuka doesn't get home until late, which causes Misato to go on a scolding rampage that somehow Shinji is brought into for not tracking his 'girlfriend's' every move. 

"I was with Ayanami!" Asuka whines, sipping the left over blue raspberry slush from her cup. 

Misato stands straighter at that. "I do not believe you."

Asuka groans and goes over to the fridge, pulling a photobooth sheet out of her pocket that she was going to tape to her bedroom wall but instead puts it on the fridge with a magnet. Shinji blinks and looks at Asuka, his mind wandering to every possible explanation. 

"Are you two friends now?" Misato asks, trying not to smile. 

Asuka rolls her eyes and digs through the fridge for leftovers. "Yes. We are. Don't make a big deal out of it at work tomorrow like a freak, okay? God knows Shinji being my boyfriend is already a big deal."

Shinji blushes and clears his throat. "There's some leftover ramen that Misato and I made together on the second shelf, Asuka... if you're hungry."

Asuka's cheeks burn. He cooked with her. She slams the door shut and walks over to him, kissing him good and hard. "I'm not. But thank you, babe."

Misato flinches at how aggressive the kiss looked in comparison to how fluffy her voice sounded. She sat back down, eyes fixed to the Tv to avoid watching them makeout. 

"Are you feeling better? You just... kinda disappeared with Ayanami after class. No one knew where you guys were." Shinji mumbled, a little bewitched from the rough kiss that tasted blue. 

Asuka sat on his lap for lack of better place to park herself, "Well, you see, Rei and I bonded this afternoon in a way that only girls can bond. We threw our lunches up together and then went into the city and had a great time. We got boba tea, we saw a movie, we flirted with an older man and he bought us dinner at a food truck. It was everything a teenage girl could ever ask for with a good friend. Don't be too jealous, Shinji. I know you've been trying to be close with her for a while."

Shinji waited for her to call him an idiot for even daring to believe that story to be true, but it was. She had photo evidence. Rei even... smiled in the last pic as Asuka hugged her. 

"You're not being mean to Rei, right?" Shinji whispered. 

Asuka frowns, "Don't be an idiot, Ikari. Seeing as you've all but abandoned me now, I have to have some kind of an ally. I actually like Ayanami, you like her because she's all docile. Well she's not! She's fun and once I've worked on her more, she'll be way less shy and way more awesome."

Shinji cringed a bit at a Asuka-like Rei. "What? I haven't abandoned you! You're... is this about Mana?"

Asuka glared. "Yes. It's exactly about her. Don't ever speak to her again!"

"She's our classmate!" Shinji whined. "She's so nice. Give her a chance. She could be your friend too!"

"Does she even know we're dating?" Asuka stands up and crosses her arms over her chest. 

"We're not dating!" Shinji whispers, mindful that Misato could be listening even though she's crying watching some movie on TV.

Asuka thinks about what Shinji did earlier, how he kissed her hand. She thinks about Rei telling Asuka to tell Shinji how she felt. That doesn't seem like an option anymore. 

"Do you like love her or something?" She clenched her fists. 

Misato lifted her head wiping her tears and looking at Asuka. She didn't know what to do really. It wasn't her place and she hated bickering with Asuka. She ignored Shinji's looks of pleading terror and stood up. 

"I'm going to bed. Keep your voices down. By the way, Asuka, no school tomorrow and the next week. Unit- 02 is back and ready to go, we'll need to do some sync tests and trials with a new weapon for you. I think you'll like it. It's a blowtorch." Misato smiled a bit, "Good luck with your lover's quarrel!"

Asuka blinks, unable to really reply to Misato when she darts out of the room so quickly to avoid confrontation. So she turns it on Shinji. "Answer me, baka!"

"No! I don't know!" Shinji whines, looking at her. "I like her. She's nice! You're not even my real girlfriend. We can end this and I can..."

Asuka looks at him with thick tears already in her eyes and a pain in her stomach like she's been stabbed. Shinji gasps and looks at Asuka, who looks broken. She never cries in front of him. She pants and growls loudly, running to her room and packing a bag. 

"Asuka!" Shinji wheels towards her to stop her as she leaves the condo. "Asuka, what's wrong with you?"

Asuka whips around and looks down at him. "If you want to kiss the new girl, that's just fine. I'll go kiss Ayanami!"

It's flippant, but sufficient as it leaves him with his lap in his lap. 

* * *

The trouble is, with Asuka and Rei in training and Asuka staying with Rei, Shinji forgets he has to act like he's Asuka's boyfriend. He knows that Kaji knows, but Kaji doesn't seem jealous at all, just as he knew he wouldn't. In fact, Kaji gives Shinji advice on how to win her back over voicemail, but Misato deletes it. Shinji watches and Misato throws the phone set up across the room, as it shatters on the wall and slumps to the floor like a dead metal beast. She lets out a rageful sob and runs out of the house much like Asuka. It's then that Shinji learns that women never change, they just mask their rage better. 

Mana is good company though. She's helpful and nice, even though people make up rumors about her with Shinji. She's just happy to be around someone so kind and nobel. Shinji likes being around someone that praises him and is kind. In a way, Mana is the perfect mix of what he wants from Misato and what he wants from Rei. But she's no Asuka, and he wonders if maybe that's what makes Mana so desirable. 

The days go by and he wonders if he'd miss Rei and Asuka if they never came back from school or If he'd miss being a pilot. He has another week of sick days before Father calls him back and he can operate the fixed Unit- 01 again even though his leg is still messed up. Being a normal boy has been nice, being with Mana has been even nicer. When he thinks no one is looking, he holds her hand as he shows her the city skyline and she notices the mountains. He thinks that's beautiful. He doesn't think of Asuka once as he kisses Mana. Mana isn't mean ever. 

Hikari gasps, taking her phone and snapping a picture of it and sending it to Asuka. She knows it's the right thing to do. She knows telling Asuka is right. Asuka will deal with Shinji when she's done training with her EVA and then everything will be fine again in the classroom. Mana will be dealt with then too. Asuka's wrath will silence her flirting forever. 

By the time he's home again, missing Mana, Misato sits on the kitchen table with Kaji rubbing her back slowly. 

"What's wrong?" Shinji asks worriedly. 

"Asuka's... Asuka and Rei are missing. They left a note and they've run away." Misato sobs softly. 

Shinji feels like the world comes tumbling down. If you had told him about any of this three weeks ago, he would've laughed. But now, he felt like he was going to choke. At the same time, he and Misato both said it.

"This is my fault."

And Kaji had to clean the mess. 

* * *

NERV obviously swept the city for any trace of Asuka and Rei. The news of Rei missing set Gendo Ikari into a state of panic and anger, crashing around and lashing out at anyone that spoke out of turn or gave an answer he didn't like. Misato instructed he stay as far away from his father as possible. She was doing the best she could to keep him occupied while also looking for the girls, he noticed that she seemed more maternal. He liked that about her. Chaos made her more put together. Shinji had Kensuke and Toji with him at all times, as they led the search on a smaller level. Hikari was devastated, demanding she also join the boys. Kaji said it would be a good idea, so the boys decided it was a good idea. 

"Why would they run away? That's so unlike them." Hikari sobbed into Kaji's shoulder, which would've made Asuka scream with jealousy. 

It just made Shinji angry. He wished he could run away. The best he could do was roll out of the room. 

Kaji followed, leaving Hikari to sob on Toji, who dutifully held her while smirking at Kensuke. 

"Whoa, whoa... are you alright?" Kaji asks, holding the handle of Shinji's wheelchair to stop him. 

Shinji groans and rolls around to face Kaji. "This is your fault!"

Kaji stands in surprise. "What?"

"She wanted to make you jealous so we pretended to date! You were so vague with her. You never just said you didn't like her at all. You always made her seem like she had some kind of chance with you when she got older and now she's gone!" Shinji yells.

Kaji rubs the back of his neck. "Listen, I know Asuka. I know she likes me. We've been going back and forth about her crush for a while and she knows..."

"No, she doesn't!" Shinji yells. "You're not listening to me! No one listens!"

Kaji closes his eyes and he's in the watermelon patch. "Shinji, Misato told me you two got into an argument about some new girl. The same girl your friend over there got a picture of you kissing." 

Shinji gulps hard, wanting to deny it for reasons he can't articulate. But he knows he's been caught red handed. It is his fault. "But Rei?"

"Did you ever think that maybe Rei just didn't want her to be alone?" Kaji tilts his head like he knows everything. Stupid Kaji. 

"No." Shinji answers blatantly. "Because Rei doesn't care about Asuka like that."

Stupid Shinji.

* * *

"Oh man, look at Misato's bras!" Toji chuckles, running into the living room holding a lacy pink bra up to his own chest and swaying his hips sensually. 

Kensuke chuckles his way into the living room from Shinji's bedroom and holds up the big box of condoms. "Look at this!"

Toji drops the bra to the floor and grabs the box violently. His face gets red and angry. "That bastard!"

"What?" Kensuke looks at Toji. "What's wrong with th- oh my god, that bastard!"

"He's been sticking it in Asuka!" Toji cries out, holding his head and laying on the floor. "And he didn't tell us! That prude! That bastard. The box is opened and there's a bunch of wrappers in here!"

Kensuke sighs and wrinkles his nose. "How is he doing that with a broken leg and neck brace?" 

Toji sits up, trying to imagine it and sighs. "He must be really good at sex... or Asuka does all the work."

They share a look. 

"Yeah, Asuka does all the work." They agree. 

Kensuke gets an idea and walks into the bathroom, looking through makeup and medicine to find anything helpful for Miss Misato. But then he holds it. The long rectangular stick. He blinks and pants a little, which turns into him yelling for Toji. 

Toji runs in and immediately notices the stick just as Kensuke. 

"Is it... you know?" He asks shakily, looking at Kensuke like he's some wizard of knowledge. 

Kensuke nods, "Oh yeah. This is definitely positive. That's what those lines mean..."

Toji closes his eyes and shakes his head, letting a low whistle out. "That's why she ran away. She's totally pregnant and he cheated on her."

"Man. I never thought Shinji would be the type to leave his pregnant woman for another woman. Guess he couldn't handle the pressure." Kensuke sighed, repeating Toji's gestures. 

"Can you blame him? On top of being an Eva pilot, he'd have to raise a kid with Asuka." Toji snorts. 

Hikari runs in, grabbing the test and bawling again. "No! No! No! She can't be pregnant! She can't be pregnant at all!" 

Toji and Kensuke both gulp and look at each other, the time for jokes are over. If class rep is crying, it's a serious deal. The three bicker over who has to show Misato, but Misato comes home just in time. 

Hikari hides the test in her skirt. "Sorry, we were just... so upset." 

Misato frowns and pulls the three into a tight hug. "It's going to be okay, guys. They'll come back. I know they will. They just needed a break."

* * *

It was a long weekend, but the girls came back. They told Misato they'd been to the beach and had had the most fun they'd ever had together. Rei even smiled as she talked about it. Misato just hugged both of them tight, she got to keep her job and she got them back. Rei felt warm and new as Misato hugged her, the sense that someone maternal cared for her. It felt as good as when Asuka and her where drunk on the beach at midnight, sipping fruity alcohol and listening to the waves and the night sounds on the water. When Asuka had fallen over on top of Rei. How they both giggled and Rei sat up too fast, her head knocking into Asuka's. How they fell asleep spooning each other on the beach with only a towel as support. 

She wanted to kiss Asuka. She wanted to be what she needed. But she'd never say it out loud. She would be quiet. She would never acknowledge it. She'd do anything just to stay close to Asuka from now on. That would be enough.

Gendo was relieved to see Rei back, even hugging her in front of Asuka and Misato, Ritsuko and Fuyutsuki. 

"The girls are back and ready to get back to work. Luckily there was no angel attack. I consider this a much needed vacation and the only one we're likely to give them. Shinji's had his fair share of vacations. I'm glad the girls finally let their hair down and ran away out of teenage angst." Fuyutsuki grins at them, making the girls chuckle a bit shyly. 

Commander Ikari frowns and looks at Rei, who looks at him pleadingly. "I really did have a good time, Commander. We won't do it again."

In her eyes, he sees Yui back from a weekend away with her friend Mari. His heart pangs and he sighs, unable to scold either one of them due to a moment of his own personal weakness. 

"Fine. But never again." He commands. 

"Yes sir." Both Asuka and Rei answer, then laugh at how they said it at the same time. 

Misato breathes out, trying to focus on the now. On what news she can handle. 

When they're all back at Misato's, she watches as Shinji nearly tries to get up out of the wheelchair to hug Asuka and Rei but sits down in pain. The girls stand from a distance, both stony faced at him. 

"I'm so glad you two are back!" Shinji smiles weakly. 

"How's Mana?" Rei asks coldly, covering Asuka with her body. She can feel Asuka growing angry but she knows her well enough now that with anger comes tears. 

Shinji looks betrayed. "Rei... Asuka..." 

Misato frowns and shakes her head at Shinji, who she's been upset with all weekend since Hikari told her of the photo. She heats left overs for the girls and starts a bath for them. 

It's silent for hours. Shinji feels like his head might pop off. When Rei leaves, he wheels himself into Asuka's room. He blushes, seeing her in nothing but a big t-shirt. 

"Why did you do that?" He asks softly. 

"Do what?" Asuka pulls the shirt down around her legs more. "Pull a Shinji?"

The coldness is back in her voice. Shinji steels himself. "Why did you run away after the trial? Why are you pretending to be friends with Rei? Why is suddenly everyone so worried about you when all you are is mean to everyone!"

Asuka walks over and grabs his chin hard, looking at him as if he has mobility in the neckbrace to move his head away from her. "My friendship with Rei is the realest thing I have. And you? Kissing Mana when we had an arrangement? That's low. That's pitifully low. You should be ashamed of yourself for treating yourself like such a little whore... kissing the new girl after two days... you disgust me. You enrage me. And to think... I've ever even kissed you myself."

Shinji holds onto her shirt, then grabs her wrist, looking at her with wide eyes. His voice shakes. "I'm sorry. Asuka, I am so sorry." 

Asuka wants to crumble onto him and cry but she's not that kind of girl. He doesn't deserve her weakness. 

"The game is over. I got what I needed and more. Enjoy looking like the biggest loser in the class for making his girlfriend go crazy after he cheated on her." Asuka growls, pushing Shinji out of her room. 

He clenches his fists and wheels into his own room, screaming into the pillows when he's able to hoist himself up there. 

* * *

Hikari called for Asuka and for Rei to come to her house, where Kensuke and Toji sat on the floor of her spotless bedroom in a circle that Rei and Asuka were allowed into once they arrived. 

"What I'm about to show you... we need your honesty, Asuka. Okay?" Kensuke looks at her with a soft sympathy that must've taken hours of bravery to conjure. 

She rolls her eyes anyway and sighs. "Fine. Whatever. Let's get on with this. I have so much homework to get through." 

Rei feels nervous, rocking back and forth a bit over whatever the big secret about Asuka is. For some reason, she feels as if someone knows that Rei and her almost kissed. That they could've kissed. That they slept holding each other at different parts of the night. 

Toji looks at Hikari who is fighting back tears like a real trooper, her hands holds Asuka's as he sets the pregnancy test down. Rei looks at it curiously, having no idea what it is but the color in Asuka's face leaves. It's all the answer Hikari, Toji, and Kensuke need. 

"Asuka... what is that?" Rei whispers. 

"It's a pregnancy test." Asuka answers and looks directly at Rei, "It's mine."

Rei blinks and knows what she's doing. She doesn't like it. "Oh."

"That's right. I'm pregnant..." Asuka forces tears, or more so lets the tears she's been holding back for a while out. 

And then Rei knows she's in over her head and the world seemingly burns to hell as Hikari screams, as Toji whines that Shinji got a girl pregnant before he'd ever even fingered a girl, and Kensuke sits there in absolute shock. Asuka wipes her tears and does her best to comfort them until they leave. As Rei walks with her, she stops Asuka by holding her hand. 

"What are you doing?" Asuka scoffs. 

"You know this makes everything worse, right?" She asks her. 

"Oh please, it won't get past the school. Besides, we just had a full physical. They would've seen if I was pregnant. But Shinji doesn't know that. What we should be worried about is Misato taking a pregnancy test." Asuka waves the test in Rei's face. 

Rei blinks. "Misato? Pregnant?"

Asuka snorts. "Oh no. This is negative. But those idiots don't know what the instruction manual looks like. I know." She grins. 

"Why?" Rei narrows her eyes. 

Asuka sighs and looks at her, her eyes becoming distant and sad. "My step mother takes a lot of these and never throws away the box to let my father know without having to tell him."

Rei feels a wave of sympathy for her, tightening her grip on Asuka's hand. "I should get you back to Major Katsuragi's."

Asuka nods, looking down at their hands then to Rei. Rei seems like she needs it more, but she doesn't pull away. In the back of her mind, she really likes holding Rei's hand. She likes the concept of everyone hating Shinji for knocking her up and cheating on her even more. 


	4. Chapter 4

"I hate you!" Shinji yells so loud the apartment rumbles. 

For a moment, Asuka begins to roll her eyes. A boy yelling is nothing to her, similiar to the boys that punch their desks in class when they get something wrong and she gets it right. She can take a boy's anger. 

What surprises her is Shinji lunging for her and knocking her to the ground, sitting on her hips and holding her wrists back. He knows her well enough to know that she'd fight him off. His face is red and his eyes look like they might pop out of his head, which is the ugliest he's ever looked in Asuka's eyes. 

"Don't you have anything to say for yourself, you liar?" He yells in her face, spittle landing on her face and frankly, too close to her eyes. 

Asuka sighs out, shifting a bit, "Yeah. You're sitting on the baby."

Shinji groans loudly again and does something that surprises her, scares her. He places his hands on her neck and squeezes the sides. Her eyes go wide and her face turns as red as his had. She feels light headed and scared. Shinji gasps when he sees her eyes flutter to the back of her head, pulling his hands away. 

"Asuka..." He whimpers, realizing what he could've done and what he has done.

He's still sitting on her, feeling her hipbones under him and the flatness of her stomach, looking down at the ab lines of her stomach. She's passed out. He made her pass out. This girl, this friend. No, enemy. Enemy. Asuka lied. Asuka lies all the time. She hurts his feelings. She sabotages him. She makes him feel worthless. She took Mana from him. She lied about being pregnant and he doesn't even know how to have sex. 

His hand touched her flat stomach like there's a baby inside there. He feels the softness of her skin and the warmth there. A baby could grow inside her and she would never be alone, even after the baby was born. She would always have a connection to a person that needed her until the end of their lives. For a brief moment, he let himself think about being the father of her child. Of how she would be sick and need him, how he'd have to care for her. The way she'd cry and he could hold her. Maybe they'd sleep in the same bed and he would be able to wrap an arm over her to rub her growing belly. He would look at her, the swell of a child in her abdomen, and know he had someone that would need him until the end of their lives. Two someones. Asuka might ever not be his, but that child could be. 

He didn't realize he was crying on her chest until she yanked his hair. 

"You pervert!" She screamed. "Get off of me!"

Shinji scrambles off and looks at her in fear as she throws herself onto him, smacking him and raging about how he'd choked her out. 

"I'm sorry!" Shinji cries, letting her hit him despite now knowing he could overpower her. Something that had once given him such power, now left him with a terrible taste in his mouth. 

"I could have died, you idiot!" She smacks him across the face hard, leaving an instant red mark.

He stops crying. They make eye contact. 

Shinji grabs her the tie on her school blouse, pulling her down and kissing her in a way that is less romantic and more angry. Asuka kisses back, the same fervor but with more anger. She now has her hands on his neck, squeezing enough for him to feel, but not to hurt. Their panting and all over each other in a way that would send Misato to an early grave if she saw them rolling on her floor like that. Shinji pulls Asuka's shirt off, only to get pushed down from her. 

"What the hell?" Asuka covers her chest with its plain beige bra. 

Shinji blushes and winces like he might get hit again. "I thought..."

"You thought I wanted to have sex with you?" Asuka screams. 

"No-" He stutters.

"You choke the living daylights out of me and then think that I want to fuck you?" Asuka growls. 

Shinji pants and sits up on his knees to be taller than her for a moment, "You told everyone we had sex and you got pregnant!"

"You kissed another girl!" She screams.

"I did. I did and I liked kissing her more than I've ever kissed you because she was nice to me!" Shinji screams back.

Asuka shoves him down again and holds his wrists back now. "It felt like you liked kissing me when you were rubbing your disgusting hard on on my thigh, perv. Or was that from choking me?"

She pulls off of him, putting her shirt back on and moving to the fridge to grab some cola as Shinji lays on the floor. A wave of panic and terror washes over him. Who is this boy that hurts girls? These hands that used to play the cello, the hands that like to make art, these hands that help people... these hands have become the hands of a child soldier... the hands of someone that would rather hurt a girl than talk to her. 

Is this his father?

Shinji sits up, looking at Asuka and her now wrinkled uniform, how she greedily drinks the cola from the glass. On the counter is an extra cola and three painkillers. Suddenly he hurts. He hurts bad. His leg aches and his neck feels too tense again. He just got the crutches. He just got the brace off. He was supposed to take it easy. 

He whimpers and reaches for the crutches across the room. Asuka watches for a minute before she feels like might take a knife and stab her stomach to make it end. She brings his glass and the painkillers to him. Sitting beside him, she even puts them in his mouth. He drinks them down with the cola.

"Where did you even get that test?" Shinji asks, looking at her softly. 

Asuka looks at her hands, "It's Misato's. You know... it's a negative test. She thought she was pregnant but she isn't. She's been acting so weird lately, I can see why she thought she was."

Shinji sighs, the thought of Misato being pregnant seems like a nightmare. "I bet you're relieved that Kaji won't be a father to anyone's child."

Asuka shoves him again. "You're such a prick."

Shinji leans on his elbows and looks at her, "Do you want to hurt me?"

Asuka clenches her fists and looks at him. No, the answer is no. She wants him to love her and her only. She wants him to want her desperately. Shinji licks his lips and winces, cracking his neck and sighing at the relief. Asuka touches his leg with its chunky cast where she'd written with red Sharpie PROPERTY OF ASUKA LANGLEY in her neat but girlish handwriting surrounded by big fat hearts. 

"I did like Mana." He admits. "I'd like you the same if you weren't so mean."

Asuka looks at him and furrows her brow. "I don't know why I'm like this."

"You're not always mean. Rei likes you and she doesn't like anyone." Shinji speaks jealously. 

Asuka's cheeks burn thinking about her weekend with Rei. The beach. Oh, the beach. She never thought she'd ever feel attraction to a girl until Rei had giggled her way to nearly kissing Asuka. Asuka felt curious and conflicted. She wanted to have a friend, but she also wanted to know what it felt like to kiss the most perfect girl in the world. 

"Are you jealous of Ayanami and I?" She asks, raising a brow.

SHinji scoffs and shakes his head. "Oh what now? You and Ayanami are dating? Give me a break, Asuka. Rei hates you for every reason that I should."

Asuka stood up, glaring down at him with the anger it would take to kick him down and step on his face with her bare foot. "Oh, yeah? What are those reasons, Ikari. Do tell me as if you didn't just choke me then try to fuck me." 

He looks up at her slowly. His eyes move from her legs to her thighs, to her stomach to her chest, to her face, then back down to her stomach where their lie baby resides. 

"You're not nice." Shinji mutters, it's all he can say. "You lie."

Asuka grabs his arm and pulls him up, holding his arm too tight. "You want to kiss me so bad. You want to push me against the wall and defile me. You like having power over me. You like having me at your mercy because you're not strong enough to handle me." 

Shinji breathed out, "Why do I have to be strong to handle you? Why can't you just be nice?"

"Why can't you not be a fucking idiot?" She glares.

Shinji licks his lips, "Stop."

"Why?" She spits.

"You know." He bites at his lip nervously. "You rile me up, you rile me up and I hurt you. You like being hurt Asuka. It's the only way you feel alive."

She takes his arm and pulls it closer to her, sliding her hand from his forearm to his wrist and pulling his hand to her neck. "So, that's that. You like to inflict pain because you need power over a strong willed girl, and I need pain to feel something."

Shinji holds the side of her neck for a moment, his thumb running over the side before his other hand joins at her neck. The thumbs meeting in the middle. 

"Are we going to pretend to be in love, you being pregnant at school and here?" He doesn't squeeze her neck, just holds his hands there.

"Not at home. Misato will freak. Just pretend to like me." She whispers.

"I told Kaji you like him and you ran away because of him." He whispers back, carefully moving closer to her. 

Asuka presses against him, closing her eyes like she's ready to die. "Good. We just have to make sure Hikari doesn't snitch. I want you to be punished for embarrassing me."

Shinji sighs, rolling his eyes. "How are you going to fake a pregnancy?"

Asuka shrugged. "I'll fake a miscarriage."

"That's wrong, Asuka." He moves his hands from her neck down her shoulders, making her shiver. He undoes her shirt, rather than pulling the entire thing off. 

Her eyes go wide, "Shinji..."

"I'll stop If you want me to..." He whispers timidly. "Just... stop bringing up Mana. Stop... mentioning her. It hurts me. Stop hurting me."

Asuka frowns and looks up and away. "You have no idea how it hurt me."

Shinji touches her stomach again, which surprises Asuka but she doesn't stop him. He bites his lip. "It hurt you to see me kiss her?"

"No. It hurt me to see you love someone that wasn't me." She snaps, but stays still as he rubs her flat stomach. 

Shinji carefully gets on his knees, gripping her for support and Asuka looks down at him with concern. He kisses her belly and looks up at her. "Good. Then we can punish each other until we're over it. And when we're done, you can tell everyone that you were just really late on your period." 

Asuka is red, shaking. Not from anger, but from him kissing her so tenderly on her lower stomach. She feels like a woman. 

"Okay..." She whispers, moving to the ground and getting closer to him, pulling her shirt off. 

"What are you doing?" Shinji asks her, brows raised. 

"What? What? I thought you were..." Asuka scoffs.

Shinji looks at her breasts and stomach. How she's likely wet and imagines her wearing white underwear. Suddenly, he knows exactly how to have sex. But he can't give into her. 

He can't do the thing he wants. 

"No. I don't want to have sex with a liar." He uses her head to push himself up and hobbles to grab his crutches. 

Asuka groans and looks at him. "Are we really about to go to our separate rooms and deal with this?" 

Shinji chuckles. "Yeah, I mean... like I said."

Asuka chuckles and looks for something to throw. 

For some reason, she can't find it in her to hate him him now. She wishes she could. He wishes the same. 

* * *

At school, they deal with the blow out of their lies. Mana is gone. Rei loses Asuka in a way, watching her from the next seat over looking at Shinji. Rei knows she'll never be Asuka's. That Shinji and Asuka are fated to repeat the same vicious circle of hate and love, blurring the lines of those two things. But she knows she can't give Asuka everything Asuka needs. She's not made for love, she's made for apocalypse. 

But time passes and the joke becomes old. Shinji and Asuka bicker more and realize that lying about being together only complicates their relationship more. That kissing after school alone is mostly for their own benefit, that him getting in the bathtub with her to annoy her is because he wants to. That making out while Misato is late at work and trying to figure a condom out is because they do genuinely like each other. That crying about how confusing everything together is part of being a normal teenager. 

"Do you think we'll look back on all of this and hate ourselves?" She whispers to him as they watch the sun set. 

"Probably." He whispers back to her. "Do you think we'll ever really date?"

Asuka wrinkles her nose, "I don't think we can afford to really label ourselves. One of us could die."

Shinji frowns, turning to look at her. The pink sun reflecting on her pale European face that never tans. She's so pale all of the time, like a little German milkmaid from old art he's seen in galleries. 

"Asuka?" He stumbles with the syllables in her name.

She turns to look, her hair hitting him. "Yes?"

He leans in and kisses her like a boyfriend kisses his girlfriend. He kisses her sweet and tender, pulling her to him with both arms. She lets him, eventually joining in and holding his face. This is how Kaji kisses Misato when she tells him she had been pregnant after all, but lost the baby a few weeks in. A miscarriage. She'd lost some blood and had taken another test days later to see if maybe... but no. When Kaji asked if the kids knew, Misato told them no. Maybe she'd tell Asuka eventually, but she knew not to now. Misato told him she was relieved, but Kaji just kissed her. Had he known of a child, he would've dropped everything and taken Misato as far away from here for their safety. 

Shinji holds her and tucks her hair behind her ears, "I do want to be your boyfriend when we're... older."

"We've nearly done everything older people do..." She rolls her eyes at him.

"I want to be your boyfriend when it counts." Shinji clarifies. 

Asuka huffs and looks up at him, shocked to be looking up at him. "You grew."

Shinji blinks, noticing it himself. "Oh yeah, huh." 

Asuka gets on her toes and kisses him, "How long do you plan on waiting to be my boyfriend, dummy?"

Shinji grins, he's gone from idiot to dummy. "When you're a nice girl."

Asuka groans and pinches his side. "See you in hell then!" 

Shinji laughs and pushes her against the railing, which scares Asuka. She grips his shirt tightly and looks at him with wide eyes. He holds onto her firmly and kisses her neck. "God, I fucking hate you."

She chuckles and wraps her arms around his neck, "It's really a shame I'm the only girl that gets you hard."

"You're the only girl that knows she gets me hard. All girls get me hard, it's not difficult to turn me on. I'm a very simple boy." Shinji blushes, mumbling. 

"What girls get you hard?" She yells.

"Asuka! We're outside!" He whines. 


End file.
